Many a toddler is known to shrink in fear at the sight of the haircutting scissors or shriek hysterically when held still for a snip. Parents who've faced down the problem share their best tips for cutting back on haircut trauma.

Ease the fear

"As a licensed hairstylist and mom of a 17-month-old, my advice is this: Don't call it a 'haircut'! Kids associate the word 'cut' with pain. Tell them they're getting a 'trim' instead." — Jen

"We used electric clippers for my daughter. It helped to have her favorite baby doll there, who has plastic hair, and to have them take turns. Seeing her baby doll's hair get 'cut' (we just put the clippers near her doll's head) helped her see there was nothing to be afraid of. Now she's almost 3 and tolerates haircuts just fine." — tla

"We play 'haircut' and use kitchen tongs instead of scissors. It gets our daughter used to hearing a noise and seeing something shiny bobbing around her head (we also drop shredded paper around her to imitate hair falling). Then when it's time for a real haircut while she sits on the kitchen floor it's not so traumatic. So far so good!" — Emma

"For my son's first few haircuts, we let him watch my husband get one first. I think seeing Daddy in the chair made him curious instead of scared. Then when it was his turn, I sat in the chair with my son on my lap. That seemed to work. He gets fidgety, but not upset." — kate

Go with the pros

"Ask around and see if there's a place in your area that caters specifically to kids. We have a place like that where we live — they have toys my son can play with while we're waiting to get his hair cut, a chair that's like a little car with a motor and horn, and DVD players at every station. My son gets so distracted by these things he hardly notices he's getting a haircut. He doesn't sit perfectly still, by any means, but it's nowhere near as horrible as it could be." — Leanne

"I take my 21-month-old to a children's salon. To keep him still and happy, I always take him right after a nap, when he's well-rested, and bring a sippy cup filled with formula. I ask the stylist to finish the haircut before the formula is gone. It works like a dream." — Louise

Get tricky

"My 19-month-old hates getting his hair cut, so I do it at home while he's sleeping. I do one side, then flip his head and do the other." — Anonymous

"My 18-month-old was a nightmare at the hairdresser's! He'd scream and run away and even swing at me and the stylist (luckily she was a friend). Finally, I asked our babysitter to take him. When she did, he was an angel! She's taken him back a few more times and now he gets excited when I tell him it's haircut day. He sits there the whole time, saying what a big boy he is, getting his hair cut and not crying!" — Anonymous

Sweeten the deal

"I found that Ring Pop lollipops work great! Your child won't choke since the candy is attached to the ring like a pacifier. My son is far too busy with his lollipop to notice what's being done to his hair. This is the only time we give him candy, so he loves getting his hair cut!" — Anonymous

"I've always cut my twins' hair myself. I usually try to put in a movie for them while I'm cutting, and tell them that if they do a good job sitting still they'll get a reward. I've found that stickers or a snack that they're only allowed to have on special occasions works very well." — twinniemom

Find a distraction

"My son was fine with his first two haircuts. I was very surprised when he freaked out the next time. We tried everything from having him watch my husband get a haircut to bribing him with bubbles and cookies. Nothing worked. Finally one day this summer I cut his hair while he was outside playing at the water table, which he loves. He was still a little annoyed, but it went much better. The lesson? Experiment. If your child is really into something (a certain toy, coloring, a video, a special food), try doing it then and see if it works." — Anonymous

"My friend who's a hairdresser gave me this tip that she uses with her own son: Give your child a haircut in the tub. It's easy to cut hair while it's wet, the hair falls into the water so it's easy to clean up, and your child is so distracted with playing that he doesn't even notice what you're doing. I tried it with my son and it's worked like a charm." — Betsie

Do it in waves

"I cut my son's hair in phases. First we fought the battle to get his bangs trimmed and called it a night. A few days later, while he was busy eating in his chair, I snuck up behind him and snipped off the sides. Later while he was distracted in the bath, I trimmed his curls in the back." — stinkdyr

Work it out with TLC

"My son, who's now 5, isn't easy to upset and normally takes things in stride, but he hated haircuts and I can see why: I'd told him over and over that scissors are dangerous and then I got out the scissors to cut his hair! It took patience and lots of reassurance to get him to see that haircuts aren't so bad. For a long time I had to cut his hair in stages to teach him how to cope. I think as parents we need to look at the world around us from our children's perspective and remember that they've only been here for a short time. There's so much for them to learn and it's easy to get overwhelmed." — Susan

Try tough love

"My son hates haircuts, too, but I just make him sit there until the job is done. He doesn't like it, but that's just too bad. He gets over it. And now he accepts haircuts because he knows they're going to happen regardless of his desires, and he's come to realize they're not so bad. I think sometimes we baby our kids too much and actually encourage tantrums in the way we respond to them." —Mike

Know when to get help

"If your child's reaction to haircuts seems over the top, consider the possibility that he has a problem processing sensory input. My 4-year-old screamed like a maniac during haircuts. Only after he was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction and treated with six months of occupational therapy did haircuts — and other things — become a little easier. Just a thought for when the typical techniques fail." — Kimmi

Here's the essential information every babysitter should have:

• Contact information for you and your partner — Home phone, work phone, and cell phone numbers (and pager number if you have one), as well as the number at the place you'll be (restaurant, friends' house, etc.). Tell your sitter not to open the door to anyone she's not expecting, and warn her if anyone will be stopping by or calling.

• Emergency contact information — This includes fire, police, doctor, and hospital numbers — for guidelines, see our helpful checklist. If your children have specific medical insurance numbers, provide those as well. It's also smart to designate one or two neighbors, friends, or relatives as local contacts. Leave their names, numbers, and addresses. That way your sitter has someone to turn to in case of miscellaneous mishaps, such as a pet that gets loose or a power outage. Also, leave clear written directions to your house so she can give them out to fire, police, or medical personnel in an emergency.

• A mapped escape route — In case of fire or some other crisis that requires hasty evacuation, your sitter should be aware of all the possible exits from your house. Also make sure she knows where to find the fire extinguisher, the first-aid kit, the circuit breaker, the water shutoff, and a flashlight.

• Medical information about your baby — If your child has any allergies or other medical conditions, or needs to take medication, tell your sitter about it in advance. Also inform her of any additional health problems — such as a bad case of diaper rash or a tendency to spit up food. Also, just in case you or your contact person can't be found in an emergency, leave a healthcare authorization form that allows your babysitter or childcare provider to get medical attention for your child.

• Food and drink list — Don't leave this to chance. Your sitter may not be aware of foods that pose choking hazards. Leave specific instructions outlining what your baby can and can't eat and drink. And if the sitter will be preparing formula or giving your baby expressed breast milk, make sure she knows how to do it.

• Activity schedule — Your baby will feel more comfortable sticking to his usual routine, so let your sitter know what time he eats his meals, what time he goes to bed, and how his bedtime routine works. (If you usually read to him from a particular book, for example, let her know that.) You may want to print out our daily baby activity sheet for your sitter to fill out -- that way you'll be able to see what and how much your baby ate while you were out, when he had a wet or dirty diaper, and so on. Finally, it's wise to let your sitter know about any special words for favorite toys or security objects.

How to tell if your preschooler is gifted

"Did you hear what he just said?" Many parents see every word their child utters or every squiggle he draws as evidence of his being gifted. Though most children aren't identified as gifted until they begin formal school, some show signs of being gifted at a very early age.

Gifted child Ben Hellerstein of Larchmont, N.Y., for instance, was actually reading nonfiction books and memorizing facts by the age of 4. His mother wishes she had realized that he was academically advanced at that time. "If I had," she says wistfully, "he could have gotten the help he needed in school earlier than he did, and his first year of school wouldn't have been so unhappy."

Signs of giftedness in a preschooler

Your 2- to 4-year-old may be gifted if he:

• Has a specific talent, such as artistic ability or an unusual facility for numbers. For example, children who draw unusually realistic pictures or who can manipulate numbers in their head may be gifted.

• Reaches developmental milestones well ahead of peers.

• Has advanced language development, such as an extensive vocabulary or the ability to speak in sentences much earlier than other children his age.

• Is relentlessly curious and never seems to stop asking questions.

• Is unusually active, though not hyperactive. While hyperactive children often have a short attention span, gifted children can concentrate on one task for long periods of time and are passionate about their interests.

• Has a vivid imagination. Gifted children often create a vast and intricate network of imaginary friends with whom they become very involved.

• Is able to memorize facts easily and can recall arcane information that he learns from television shows, movies, or books.

Other signs of giftedness may be a little harder to discern. By age 3 or 4, for example, some gifted children begin to realize that they are "different" from their peers. This can make them feel isolated and withdrawn; it may also make them likely targets for bullying.

They may begin to experience intense frustration because they can think more rapidly than they can express themselves, verbally or physically. If your child appears unusually angry or frustrated, you may want to consult a mental health professional.

Testing your preschooler for giftedness

Though you may want to know if your preschooler is gifted, most children don't need to be tested for giftedness before entering elementary school. However, consultations with a mental health professional may be appropriate if your preschooler appears to be unusually bored in school or shows any signs of emotional or social problems.

If your child is enrolled in preschool, speak to the teacher or school director to find out if the school is affiliated with any mental health professionals who specialize in working with gifted children. If your child is not in school or the school isn't being receptive to your concerns, ask your pediatrician to refer you to a child psychologist who conducts tests for giftedness. Keep in mind that that although private testing is often expensive (testing and follow-up consultation can run as high as $1,000), your insurance plan may cover the cost.

Children as young as 3 can be given IQ and ability tests, but experts believe that IQ test results obtained before the age of 5 are unstable — that is, if a child is retested, his scores can fluctuate significantly until this age. Years ago, children whose IQ scores were over 130 were considered gifted (the range for average intelligence is 85 to 115); today, however, IQ is one factor among many that need to be evaluated before a child is identified as gifted. Often parents and teachers will be asked to write their impressions of a child, and these subjective measures are considered along with test data.

When giftedness is hard to diagnose

You might be surprised to learn that a child can be both gifted and learning disabled. In most cases, the disability is recognized while giftedness goes undetected. Giftedness in children from ethnic minorities and disadvantaged backgrounds, and in those for whom English is a second language, is often overlooked as well. If your child falls into any of these categories, it's best to find a psychologist who is sensitive to these issues. It is also important to ask your child's teacher to observe him and look for talents that conventional tests cannot detect.

To find other resources for parents of gifted children, visit NAGC's Web site.

After months in exile, due to a computer problem and time issues, i am now back.
I do apologize for my absence but I'm now back and ready to blog again.

The past few months, I've been trying to fix problems that I have (if you have read my other blogs), but results still are delayed. hmpf....

I do hope you'll read my blogs as I now continue what I have started months ago......


Thank you and Happy reading.

When will my baby start getting teeth?

The vast majority of babies sprout their first teeth when they're between 4 and 7 months of age. An early developer may get his first white cap as early as 3 months, while a late bloomer may have to wait until he's a year old or more. (In rare cases, a baby's first tooth is already visible at birth.) Whenever the first tooth makes its appearance, celebrate the milestone by taking pictures and noting the date in your child's baby book.

Teeth actually start developing while your baby's in the womb, when tooth buds form in the gums. Teeth break through one at a time over a period of months, and often — but not always — in this order: First the bottom two middle teeth, then the top two middle ones, then the ones along the sides and back. They may not all come in straight, but don't worry — they usually straighten out over time.

The last teeth to appear (the second molars, found in the very back of the mouth on the top and bottom) have usually begun coming into place by your baby's second birthday. By age 3, your child should have a full set of 20 baby teeth, which shouldn't fall out until his permanent teeth are ready to start coming in, around age 6.

What teething symptoms will my baby experience?

Experts disagree about whether teething actually causes symptoms — like fussiness, diarrhea, and fever — or whether these common symptoms are not related to teething at all and just coincidentally appear at the same time as emerging teeth. Regardless, many parents maintain that their teething babies do experience discomfort (though some babies get through the process with no problems at all). The symptoms most likely to trouble a teether include:

• Drooling (which can lead to a facial rash)
• Gum swelling and sensitivity
• Irritability or fussiness
• Biting behavior
• Refusing food
• Sleep problems

Though many parents report that their babies have loose stools, runny noses, or a fever just before a new tooth arrives, most experts don't think teething is to blame for these symptoms. One who does is William Sears, pediatrician and author of The Baby Book. Sears believes that teething can cause diarrhea and a mild diaper rash because your baby's excessive saliva ends up in his gut and loosens his stools. Inflammation in the gums, he thinks, may cause a low fever (under 101 degrees Fahrenheit).

On the other hand, child development experts such as Penelope Leach assert that teething cannot cause fever, diarrhea, vomiting, or loss of appetite and that these are signs of illness that should be checked out. Noted pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton says such symptoms are probably due to an infection unrelated to teething, but that the stress associated with teething could make your child more vulnerable to infection right before a new tooth appears.

The one thing experts agree on is that you should call your child's doctor if your baby has symptoms that worry you or a rectal temperature of 101 degrees F or higher (100.4 degrees F or higher for babies younger than 3 months). The doctor can help determine whether your baby is showing signs of a problem that needs medical attention, like an ear infection. If your baby has loose stools — but not diarrhea — don't worry. The condition will clear up on its own.

What can I do to ease my baby's discomfort?

Give your child something to chew on, such as a firm rubber teething ring or a cold washcloth. If your baby is old enough to eat solids, he may also get some relief from cold foods such as applesauce or yogurt. Giving him a hard, unsweetened teething cracker such as zwieback to gnaw on is another time-honored trick. (Avoid carrots, as they can be a choking hazard.) Simply rubbing a clean finger gently but firmly over your baby's sore gums can ease the pain temporarily, too.

If these methods aren't working, some doctors recommend giving a teething baby a small dose of children's pain reliever such as infants' acetaminophen — but check with your doctor before giving your baby any medication. (Never give your baby aspirin or even rub it on his gums to ease the pain. The use of aspirin in children is associated with Reye's syndrome, a rare but potentially life-threatening condition.)

Rubbing the gums with topical pain relief gel is also an option, but you may want to ask your baby's doctor before trying it. If you use too much, it can numb the back of your baby's throat and weaken his gag reflex (which helps prevent him from choking on his saliva). The gels are generally safe to use, but in rare cases can cause an allergic reaction.

If drool causes a rash on your baby's face, wipe, but don't rub, the drool away with a soft cotton cloth. You can also smooth petroleum jelly on his chin before a nap or bedtime to protect the skin from further irritation.

Stupidity Again

Well, guess what, stupidity struck me again. I'm here again, in his place, of course with my baby. After everything that has happened, I found it in my heart to try to fix this one more time. But, as usual, I am disappointed. He's still the same old irresponsible guy. The reason, mainly, why I agreed to go here again is because of my baby. As I have said before, I didn't want my baby to grow up without a father. Though I'm trying to make my stay here more productive than before.


What's Next?

Now that I'm here, all I'm thinking about is, what's next? I have a lot of questions boggling in my mind. Do we stay together? Do we just have to do this occasionally for our daughter? Do I make him give child support? Do I accept him again and believe in him again? I honestly don't know what to do and what to think right now. He has lots of plans, even included me in them. But planning and actually DOING it is different. Should I just take his word? Like before........that I'm not so sure of. I might get heartbroken again. Not that there's a whole heart to break. 'Coz I honestly think there's none left since I give him all of it the first time.


Do You Still Believe in Love?

Sometimes I ask myself, would you still believe in love? Since I have been heartbroken one too many times, I should have learned a thing or two about it. But the heard headed girl that I am, adventurous and stupid. I admit, I learned nothing in protecting myself from heartbreaks or from him. I think it will take a long while before I could give my heart again to someone and love again unconditionally. I just hope it's not too late. I have suffered a lot already and no one seems to understand what I am going through.


to be continued.....

There comes a time in a person's life that we do 'stupid' things but it didn't seem stupid at that time. We then regret it afterwards. Let me share with you a few of mine.


The Start of it All


I was young, 23, when I got pregnant with my boyfriend. Before I got pregnant, he was this "Lancelot" type of guy. Always there to save me, always there to support me, and so I thought. When I got pregnant, his first reaction was to get rid of the baby. Not the type of reaction I expected of him. We live far from each other, so when we wanted to be together, we had to take a plane ride to go to each others place. After days of trying to talk to him on the phone about keeping the baby, I decided to go to him to have a decent talk since I'm not getting "through him" when we talk over the phone. After a 4 days of being with him, trying to convince him, he finally agreed on one condition, THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE MONEY AND THAT I SHOULDN'T FORCE HIM TO GIVE. Now, I don;t know why, but I agreed. maybe just for the sake that he'd let me keep the baby. Now, looking back, it was so stupid of me to even ask for his permission. I mean, that's my baby, that's my body, I should be the most important person to decide about it, right? But anyway, as I've said, we sometimes do stupid things.

I continued the pregnancy even if for all those months after, we didn't see each other, but we sometimes talk on the phone. When I gave birth, he didn't even offer to give me any financial assistance. A month after I gave birth, I discovered something shocking, HE'S MARRIED!!! I felt like my world collapsed. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell my parents about it, 'coz they would just make sure that he would never get to see the baby, and I didn't want that. I wanted my baby to grow in a complete family, with a father. I confronted him, he said, he's doing things already and that 'the end justifies the means'. He explained to me that it was a fake marriage to help out his girlfriend get a visa from somewhere afterwhich the girl applied them both in an immigration service using it. I honestly did not know what to believe.

After a few months, the girl found out about our baby and confronted my boyfriend about it. Of course, for immigration sake ('coz my boyfriend needs it as he already spent a lot on it), he denied everything. The girl now is asking for divorce and the cost of it. Good for me? I honestly don't know...

When his immigration was a bit problematic, he decided to tell his family about me and the baby. Yes, they didn't know! My baby was already 3 months when they knew about her. And of course, his mom was shocked. They came here, saw the baby. Well, if you ask me, his mom just came here to make sure that the baby really is His. And how could he deny it, the baby looks just like him! I could also feel that his mom doesn't like me. Telling me that all the while, she thought her son was sterile. Ya right! Does this mean she still has doubts if it's His or not?

December came, she sent us a ticket to visit them. And so we did! She became more and more close to me, talking to me more than before. But anyway, this is about her son, not her. My boyfriend, after all those months, still isn't responsible. He would have money, but would not spend it on our daughter and the bad part about it, he would lie to me and tell me he doesn't have any money at all.

Until now, I am still waiting in vain on what he plans to do with us. He says he wants us to live together with the baby, give the baby a family she deserves. But until now, it is still a plan, no results yet.

It's very hard raising a child on your own and at the same time 'waiting' for the father to grow up. There are times that I would just decrease the ratio of her milk to water just so my baby's milk formula would last longer. Most of the time, I am literally begging my parents for money to buy diapers and milk. Hey, honestly, I have not bought myself panties since I gave birth. Damn! That's how hard being a single parents is ------ for me. There are nights that I would just cry and cry 'coz I can't have my baby immunized/vaccinated 'coz I didn't have the money.


Sickness

My Baby got sick and so I brought her to the doctor, one thing that I'm trying to avoid. When the doctor gave me the prescription, I felt like crying, but I stopped myself and cried the moment I arrived home. It's so hard when you don't have money.

We went to their place again, and the funny thing is, his mom would spend on the baby ONLY IF the baby is there at their place. One time, his mom talked to me, telling me that "It's my fault, I sort of pampered him and spoiled him, all because I pitied him for having no job and I didn't want him to suffer, that's why I gave him a credit card". Yah right! If only I had the courage to talk to her. Then I replied, "What is he spending on using the card when he doesn't go anywhere but to see the sunsets". Then I heard the most shocking answer from her "Well, he said he sends the money to you for the baby's needs"....In my head I was shouting. Telling myself "What money? Where? why have I not received it?". Then I realized, he really is irresponsible and selfish and he will never change. Not for me, not for his daughter and not for himself.



*** to be continued......

Thank You So Much!

I have been nominated with this award (My Most Favorite) by Myra at A Hard Life For My Daughter
In accepting this award you will have to fellow these rules
Nominate this award to eight other bloggers who then must choose eight more and include the following text into the award.

“These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.”

I would also like to honor the following bloggers. As noted in the text above, my aim is to find them as friends. These are some of my favorite blogs please take a moment to read them and maybe they will become some of yours all so....


list of bloggers to follow.......

Diapering Dos and Don'ts


You'll probably decide before you bring your baby home whether you'll use cloth or disposable diapers. Whichever you use, the baby will dirty diapers about 10 times a day, or about 70 times a week.

Before diapering a baby, make sure you have all supplies within reach so you won't have to leave your baby unattended on the changing table.

You'll need:
a clean diaper
a fastener (if cloth is used)
diaper ointment if the baby has a rash
a container of warm water
clean washcloth, diaper wipes, or cotton balls
After each bowel movement or if the diaper is wet, lay your baby on his or her back and remove the dirty diaper. Use the water, cotton balls, and washcloth or the wipes to gently wipe your baby's genital area clean. When removing a boy's diaper, do so carefully because exposure to the air may make him urinate. When wiping a girl, wipe her bottom from front to back to avoid a urinary tract infection. To prevent or heal a rash, apply ointment. Always remember to wash your hands thoroughly after changing a diaper.

Diaper rash is a common concern. Typically the rash is red and bumpy and will go away in a few days with warm baths, some diaper cream, and a little time out of the diaper. Most rashes occur because the baby's skin is sensitive and becomes irritated by the wet or poopy diaper.

To prevent or heal diaper rash, try these tips:

Change your baby's diaper frequently, and as soon as possible after bowel movements.
After cleaning the area with mild soap and water or a wipe, apply a diaper rash or "barrier" cream. Creams with zinc oxide are preferable because they form a barrier against moisture.
If you use cloth diapers, wash them in dye- and fragrance-free detergents.
Let the baby go undiapered for part of the day. This gives the skin a chance to air out.
If the diaper rash continues for more than 3 days or seems to be getting worse, call your doctor — it may be caused by a fungal infection that requires a prescription.

What is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a condition that makes it hard for a child to control her activity level and reactions to what's going on around her. A child with ADHD also finds it tough to keep her attention on what she wants to do. ADHD shows up in early childhood and often lasts through adolescence and adulthood.
What are the symptoms?

They can vary depending on the child. Health professionals have identified three main types of ADHD: inattentive ADHD (previously called ADD); hyperactive-impulsive ADHD; and combined ADHD, in which a child has both inattentive and hyperactive symptoms.

In diagnosing ADHD, a doctor will assess whether a child has often behaved in some of the following ways, in more than one setting, for longer than six months. The behavior also has to be negatively affecting the child's life — at home, at school, and in social situations:


Signs of inattention:

• Has a hard time paying close attention to details
• Makes careless mistakes in schoolwork or other activities
• Daydreams, has trouble focusing her attention
• Has difficulty listening to what's being said to her
• Is easily distracted from tasks and play
• Doesn't follow through on obeying instructions and fails to finish schoolwork or chores (but not out of rebellion or failure to understand)
• Forgets things
• Has trouble organizing tasks and other activities
• Loses important things or items needed for tasks and activities, such as toys, school assignments, pencils, books
• Avoids or strongly dislikes tasks (such as homework or games) that require sustained mental effort


Signs of hyperactivity:

• Often fidgets or squirms, seems to be in constant motion
• Leaves her seat in the classroom or in other situations where she's expected to stay put
• Talks too much
• Has trouble playing quietly
• Often runs about or climbs in situations where it's inappropriate


Signs of impulsivity:

• Blurts out answers before the whole question has been asked
• Has trouble waiting her turn or standing in line
• Acts and speaks without thinking
• Runs into the street without looking
• Interrupts or intrudes on others' conversations or games

Of course, all children are occasionally "hyper" or inattentive. That's why experts say it's tricky to diagnose this condition — it's sometimes hard to tell a child with ADHD from one who's simply energetic. But a child with ADHD is more easily distracted and more impulsive than most kids her age, and her activity can border on the frenetic. If you think your child behaves that way a lot — more so than other kids her age — and you can see it's giving her problems, talk to her doctor.

How common is ADHD?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), ADHD affects 4 to 12 percent of U.S. schoolchildren. Signs usually appear before age 7. Studies show ADHD affects three times as many boys as girls, and there is often a family history of the condition.


Will my child outgrow it?

Probably not — ADHD usually continues into adulthood. In fact, 80 percent of the children who are prescribed medication for ADHD still take it as teens, and over half still take it as adults. Many learn to manage the disorder, though


How will my child be evaluated?

The doctor will examine your child and review her medical and social history. She may ask you about your pregnancy, other family members who've been diagnosed with ADHD, and any emotional troubles your child has gone through. She may also order tests to rule out vision and hearing problems.


What is the treatment?

There are three options: family therapy, behavioral therapy, and medication.

Family therapy, sometimes called parent training, is one of the best ways to deal with ADHD. It will help you learn how to handle your own frustration with your child's behavior, how to parent consistently and positively, and how to adjust your expectations of her.

Behavioral therapy can teach you how to structure situations at home and school so that your child doesn't become unnecessarily stimulated or distracted. It might also help your child develop coping strategies for particular skills and situations.

ADHD medications aren't usually prescribed for children under 6, though some are approved for ages 3 and up. The medications most often prescribed are stimulants, including methylphenidate (better known by its brand name, Ritalin) and dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine). Researchers believe these medications help regulate levels of neurotransmitters in the brain. Both medications come in short-acting (two to four hours) and longer-lasting (six to ten hours) form.

Keep in mind that ADHD is a relatively new term and the condition has received a lot of media attention in recent years. Researchers are still trying to decide on the best ways to treat it, and as new studies are publicized, your friends and family may give you an earful about what you should do. The best solution to any confusion and anxiety you feel is to work closely with your child's doctor and therapist, focusing on the solutions that seem most helpful and effective for your child.


What can I do at home to help my child?

The first step is to accept that your child has a behavioral disorder and adjust your expectations of what she's capable of just now. Many kids with ADHD are terrifically bright and creative — your child may well grow up to be an eminent scientist or film director. But you'll need to rethink the way you parent her as well as the type of environment you establish for her. Here's where to begin:

• Sign everybody up. If you do get a definitive diagnosis, notify family members (at least those who spend a lot of time with your child), close friends, teachers, and anybody else who can offer support. Some parents of children with ADHD used to keep quiet for fear their child would be stigmatized, but it can be comforting and grounding to be able to give the condition a name. And it's important to build your support network so your child can get all the help she needs in the months and years ahead.

• Change the scene. Eliminate sources of overstimulation and distraction in your child's environment. At home, make sure her room is tidy, stashing extra toys or books where they won't catch her eye. At school, ask the teacher to place your child where she can keep an eye on her or to move her away from kids and objects that tend to divert her attention.

• Structure your day. All children do well with routines, but kids with ADHD need them more than others do. A regular schedule prevents the anxiety and tension of not knowing what's going to happen next. You don't have to be rigid — just make sure your child knows when and where she'll have her meals, snacks, homework time, baths, and so on.

• Reward instead of punish. You've probably already discovered how useless it is to try to punish your child when she's running around or tuning you out. But you may not know how well kids with ADHD respond to simple rewards. Praise good behavior immediately ("You brushed your teeth, just like I asked you to! Thanks so much!"), and give your child some little token that pleases her — a gold star, a funny rubber stamp, or an extra bedtime story. The reward should be something she can enjoy right away, since kids with ADHD don't like to wait.

Getting a tangible show of appreciation will make your child feel good, and she'll be inclined to repeat the behavior that made her feel that way. Over time, the good feeling will start to come from inside and there'll be less need to provide those external rewards.

A Dad's Role In Delivery


What role can a dad play in labor and delivery?

The father's role in childbirth has changed dramatically since the days when spouses paced the hospital waiting room, anxiously awaiting a doctor's announcement: "It's a girl." Today, many men are involved from the moment the pregnancy test comes back positive, attending prenatal appointments, childbirth classes, and, after the birth, father-baby groups.

Some men are comfortable with a lot of involvement, and some aren't. And not all men relish the thought of being present during labor and delivery. But for most, seeing their child born is one of life's great moments.


How can I prepare for this role?

Childbirth classes are invaluable. You'll likely feel more confident after learning what to expect during labor and childbirth, acquiring ideas and techniques to help your wife or partner through the experience. If you still feel anxious about your role, a birth assistant, or doula, can help tremendously during labor, not only coaching your partner but also encouraging you to relax and participate comfortably. If that sounds intriguing, talk it over with your partner.

Also, make sure you know all the ins and outs of the hospital where you plan to deliver. Take a tour of the facilities, and make sure that husbands or partners can be present throughout labor, birth, and in the hours and days after your baby is born. Most hospitals have come into the modern age, but some have restrictions about who can be present during a c-section or at other times.

Things we parents should know and should have available in our house at all times.

Print this checklist of supplies you'll need for dealing with minor medical problems at home or while traveling.

Essential items:

Prescription medications
Also bring a copy of the prescriptions and your doctor's phone number, just in case, but bear in mind that some pharmacies accept only local prescriptions. Include a medicine dropper or oral syringe as well.

Thermometer
You'll probably want a digital rectal thermometer for an infant and a digital oral thermometer for an older child.

Baby acetaminophen or ibuprofen
For lowering fever and easing pain

Liquid soap
Get the gel kind that doesn't require water. Useful for cleaning up scrapes as well as messy diaper changes when your child has diarrhea.

Antibiotic ointment
To help heal cuts and scrapes and keep them from becoming infected

Sterile bandages
You may also include sterile gauze pads to clean up scrapes and staunch bleeding.

Tweezers
For removing splinters or ticks

Sunscreen and lip protection with SPF 15 or higher, with both UVA and UVB protection
For use on babies six months and older, and in small amounts (on the face and back of the hands) in babies under 6 months.

Insect repellent
Use 5-10% DEET for babies, 25% for adults.

Calamine lotion or hydrocortisone cream
To soothe insect bites, rashes, and sunburn.

Cold pack
To reduce swelling from bumps, bites, and minor burns. Get the kind you just squeeze to start the cooling reaction.

First aid pocket guide
Try Janet Zand's Parent's Guide to Medical Emergencies.


Optional items:

Electrolyte replacement solution
Helps prevent diarrhea-related dehydration; some brands are made just for babies

Some questions we mothers ask;

1. How often should I bathe my baby?
2. Where should I bathe my baby?
3. What's the best way to give my baby a bath?


How often should I bathe my baby?

Although some parents bathe their babies every day, until yours is crawling around and getting into messes, a bath isn't really necessary more than once or twice a week. (Just wash his face frequently and thoroughly clean his genital area after each diaper change.) When you do bathe him, you may find it a little scary to handle your wiggly little one when he's all soapy and slippery, so keep a good grip. Most babies find the warm water very soothing.
Where should I bathe my baby?

Instead of using a standard bathtub, which requires you to kneel or lean awkwardly over your baby and gives you less control over his movements, it makes sense to use the kitchen sink or a small plastic baby tub.
What's the best way to give my baby a bath?

Here's how to do it and what you'll need to make baby-bathing easy. With any luck, his bath will become one of the most enjoyable parts of your days together:

1. Assemble all necessary bath accessories.

2. Fill the tub with 2 to 3 inches of water that feels warm but not hot, about 90 degrees Fahrenheit (32 degrees Celsius).

3. Bring your baby to the bath area and undress him completely.

4. Gradually slip your baby into the tub, using one hand to support his neck and head. Pour cupfuls of bath water over him regularly during the bath so he doesn't get too cold.

5. Use soap sparingly (it dries your baby's skin) as you wash him with your hand or a washcloth from top to bottom, front to back. Wash his scalp with a wet, soapy cloth. Use a moistened cotton ball to clean his eyes and face. As for your baby's genitals, a routine washing is all that is needed. If dried mucus has collected in the corner of your baby's nostrils or eyes, dab it several times with a small section of a moistened washcloth to soften it before you wipe it out.

6. Rinse your baby thoroughly with a clean washcloth.

7. Wrap your baby in a hooded towel and pat him dry. If his skin is dry, or if he has a bit of diaper rash, you may want to apply a mild lotion after his bath.

As a first-time mom, not to mention I had no help from my family. I was struggling with taking care of my baby. I did not know what to do and how to do it. So, for all you first-time parents, single parents and parents who need reminding, here are some tips on what to do.
Your newborn's umbilical cord are requires special care until it heals. Don't be afraid to clean your baby's cord. Remember, the quicker the base dries, the sooner the cord will fall off. You should clean the area each time you change your baby's diaper.

To clean the cord safely;
1. Take a cotton swab, cotton square or cotton round,
2. Clean around just the base of the cord from inward motion to outward,
3. Let it dry.

Remember to avoid covering the cord with the diaper, because the cord area should be kept dry and clean at all times. If the diaper is too high, fold it down on your baby before securing. There are also special newborn diapers which have a cut-out space for the cord. The cord area should heal in about 7-10 days.

Warning Signs:

Call your baby's pediatric caregiver if you notice that the umbilical cord stump is;

• soft
• has a strong odor
• streaked with red around the navel, or is discharging fluid.

A Guide to Infant Massage

As the title says, i'm just starting out in this blog thing...The reason being, is because I have a lot of thoughts, ideas, comments about things that I would like to share...Also, I have a lot of questions I would like to ask and I honestly don't have anyone to ask...

To start off, let me first introduce myself.......

Hi! My name is Phoebe. I am 24 years old and a single mom. I have had a lot of bloopers/mistakes or shall I say, "bad judgment" in my life that I would want to correct or ask why I have not foreseen the bad bitter effects of those actions before. There are certain aspects in my life I knew I could have done better or could have avoided IF ONLY I have used my head instead of my heart. I clearly need help.

Blogging is one way that I could let out my feelings, my thoughts, emotions in everything. It is somehow going to be my outlet.

To my future readers...please don't hesitate to give your honest comments, reactions and point-of-view, as I badly need it to shed some light into my life, to knock some sense into my thick head. I'll try to post as many as I can and make it as informative as possible.

Well, happy reading.