Many a toddler is known to shrink in fear at the sight of the haircutting scissors or shriek hysterically when held still for a snip. Parents who've faced down the problem share their best tips for cutting back on haircut trauma.

Ease the fear

"As a licensed hairstylist and mom of a 17-month-old, my advice is this: Don't call it a 'haircut'! Kids associate the word 'cut' with pain. Tell them they're getting a 'trim' instead." — Jen

"We used electric clippers for my daughter. It helped to have her favorite baby doll there, who has plastic hair, and to have them take turns. Seeing her baby doll's hair get 'cut' (we just put the clippers near her doll's head) helped her see there was nothing to be afraid of. Now she's almost 3 and tolerates haircuts just fine." — tla

"We play 'haircut' and use kitchen tongs instead of scissors. It gets our daughter used to hearing a noise and seeing something shiny bobbing around her head (we also drop shredded paper around her to imitate hair falling). Then when it's time for a real haircut while she sits on the kitchen floor it's not so traumatic. So far so good!" — Emma

"For my son's first few haircuts, we let him watch my husband get one first. I think seeing Daddy in the chair made him curious instead of scared. Then when it was his turn, I sat in the chair with my son on my lap. That seemed to work. He gets fidgety, but not upset." — kate

Go with the pros

"Ask around and see if there's a place in your area that caters specifically to kids. We have a place like that where we live — they have toys my son can play with while we're waiting to get his hair cut, a chair that's like a little car with a motor and horn, and DVD players at every station. My son gets so distracted by these things he hardly notices he's getting a haircut. He doesn't sit perfectly still, by any means, but it's nowhere near as horrible as it could be." — Leanne

"I take my 21-month-old to a children's salon. To keep him still and happy, I always take him right after a nap, when he's well-rested, and bring a sippy cup filled with formula. I ask the stylist to finish the haircut before the formula is gone. It works like a dream." — Louise

Get tricky

"My 19-month-old hates getting his hair cut, so I do it at home while he's sleeping. I do one side, then flip his head and do the other." — Anonymous

"My 18-month-old was a nightmare at the hairdresser's! He'd scream and run away and even swing at me and the stylist (luckily she was a friend). Finally, I asked our babysitter to take him. When she did, he was an angel! She's taken him back a few more times and now he gets excited when I tell him it's haircut day. He sits there the whole time, saying what a big boy he is, getting his hair cut and not crying!" — Anonymous

Sweeten the deal

"I found that Ring Pop lollipops work great! Your child won't choke since the candy is attached to the ring like a pacifier. My son is far too busy with his lollipop to notice what's being done to his hair. This is the only time we give him candy, so he loves getting his hair cut!" — Anonymous

"I've always cut my twins' hair myself. I usually try to put in a movie for them while I'm cutting, and tell them that if they do a good job sitting still they'll get a reward. I've found that stickers or a snack that they're only allowed to have on special occasions works very well." — twinniemom

Find a distraction

"My son was fine with his first two haircuts. I was very surprised when he freaked out the next time. We tried everything from having him watch my husband get a haircut to bribing him with bubbles and cookies. Nothing worked. Finally one day this summer I cut his hair while he was outside playing at the water table, which he loves. He was still a little annoyed, but it went much better. The lesson? Experiment. If your child is really into something (a certain toy, coloring, a video, a special food), try doing it then and see if it works." — Anonymous

"My friend who's a hairdresser gave me this tip that she uses with her own son: Give your child a haircut in the tub. It's easy to cut hair while it's wet, the hair falls into the water so it's easy to clean up, and your child is so distracted with playing that he doesn't even notice what you're doing. I tried it with my son and it's worked like a charm." — Betsie

Do it in waves

"I cut my son's hair in phases. First we fought the battle to get his bangs trimmed and called it a night. A few days later, while he was busy eating in his chair, I snuck up behind him and snipped off the sides. Later while he was distracted in the bath, I trimmed his curls in the back." — stinkdyr

Work it out with TLC

"My son, who's now 5, isn't easy to upset and normally takes things in stride, but he hated haircuts and I can see why: I'd told him over and over that scissors are dangerous and then I got out the scissors to cut his hair! It took patience and lots of reassurance to get him to see that haircuts aren't so bad. For a long time I had to cut his hair in stages to teach him how to cope. I think as parents we need to look at the world around us from our children's perspective and remember that they've only been here for a short time. There's so much for them to learn and it's easy to get overwhelmed." — Susan

Try tough love

"My son hates haircuts, too, but I just make him sit there until the job is done. He doesn't like it, but that's just too bad. He gets over it. And now he accepts haircuts because he knows they're going to happen regardless of his desires, and he's come to realize they're not so bad. I think sometimes we baby our kids too much and actually encourage tantrums in the way we respond to them." —Mike

Know when to get help

"If your child's reaction to haircuts seems over the top, consider the possibility that he has a problem processing sensory input. My 4-year-old screamed like a maniac during haircuts. Only after he was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction and treated with six months of occupational therapy did haircuts — and other things — become a little easier. Just a thought for when the typical techniques fail." — Kimmi

Here's the essential information every babysitter should have:

• Contact information for you and your partner — Home phone, work phone, and cell phone numbers (and pager number if you have one), as well as the number at the place you'll be (restaurant, friends' house, etc.). Tell your sitter not to open the door to anyone she's not expecting, and warn her if anyone will be stopping by or calling.

• Emergency contact information — This includes fire, police, doctor, and hospital numbers — for guidelines, see our helpful checklist. If your children have specific medical insurance numbers, provide those as well. It's also smart to designate one or two neighbors, friends, or relatives as local contacts. Leave their names, numbers, and addresses. That way your sitter has someone to turn to in case of miscellaneous mishaps, such as a pet that gets loose or a power outage. Also, leave clear written directions to your house so she can give them out to fire, police, or medical personnel in an emergency.

• A mapped escape route — In case of fire or some other crisis that requires hasty evacuation, your sitter should be aware of all the possible exits from your house. Also make sure she knows where to find the fire extinguisher, the first-aid kit, the circuit breaker, the water shutoff, and a flashlight.

• Medical information about your baby — If your child has any allergies or other medical conditions, or needs to take medication, tell your sitter about it in advance. Also inform her of any additional health problems — such as a bad case of diaper rash or a tendency to spit up food. Also, just in case you or your contact person can't be found in an emergency, leave a healthcare authorization form that allows your babysitter or childcare provider to get medical attention for your child.

• Food and drink list — Don't leave this to chance. Your sitter may not be aware of foods that pose choking hazards. Leave specific instructions outlining what your baby can and can't eat and drink. And if the sitter will be preparing formula or giving your baby expressed breast milk, make sure she knows how to do it.

• Activity schedule — Your baby will feel more comfortable sticking to his usual routine, so let your sitter know what time he eats his meals, what time he goes to bed, and how his bedtime routine works. (If you usually read to him from a particular book, for example, let her know that.) You may want to print out our daily baby activity sheet for your sitter to fill out -- that way you'll be able to see what and how much your baby ate while you were out, when he had a wet or dirty diaper, and so on. Finally, it's wise to let your sitter know about any special words for favorite toys or security objects.

How to tell if your preschooler is gifted

"Did you hear what he just said?" Many parents see every word their child utters or every squiggle he draws as evidence of his being gifted. Though most children aren't identified as gifted until they begin formal school, some show signs of being gifted at a very early age.

Gifted child Ben Hellerstein of Larchmont, N.Y., for instance, was actually reading nonfiction books and memorizing facts by the age of 4. His mother wishes she had realized that he was academically advanced at that time. "If I had," she says wistfully, "he could have gotten the help he needed in school earlier than he did, and his first year of school wouldn't have been so unhappy."

Signs of giftedness in a preschooler

Your 2- to 4-year-old may be gifted if he:

• Has a specific talent, such as artistic ability or an unusual facility for numbers. For example, children who draw unusually realistic pictures or who can manipulate numbers in their head may be gifted.

• Reaches developmental milestones well ahead of peers.

• Has advanced language development, such as an extensive vocabulary or the ability to speak in sentences much earlier than other children his age.

• Is relentlessly curious and never seems to stop asking questions.

• Is unusually active, though not hyperactive. While hyperactive children often have a short attention span, gifted children can concentrate on one task for long periods of time and are passionate about their interests.

• Has a vivid imagination. Gifted children often create a vast and intricate network of imaginary friends with whom they become very involved.

• Is able to memorize facts easily and can recall arcane information that he learns from television shows, movies, or books.

Other signs of giftedness may be a little harder to discern. By age 3 or 4, for example, some gifted children begin to realize that they are "different" from their peers. This can make them feel isolated and withdrawn; it may also make them likely targets for bullying.

They may begin to experience intense frustration because they can think more rapidly than they can express themselves, verbally or physically. If your child appears unusually angry or frustrated, you may want to consult a mental health professional.

Testing your preschooler for giftedness

Though you may want to know if your preschooler is gifted, most children don't need to be tested for giftedness before entering elementary school. However, consultations with a mental health professional may be appropriate if your preschooler appears to be unusually bored in school or shows any signs of emotional or social problems.

If your child is enrolled in preschool, speak to the teacher or school director to find out if the school is affiliated with any mental health professionals who specialize in working with gifted children. If your child is not in school or the school isn't being receptive to your concerns, ask your pediatrician to refer you to a child psychologist who conducts tests for giftedness. Keep in mind that that although private testing is often expensive (testing and follow-up consultation can run as high as $1,000), your insurance plan may cover the cost.

Children as young as 3 can be given IQ and ability tests, but experts believe that IQ test results obtained before the age of 5 are unstable — that is, if a child is retested, his scores can fluctuate significantly until this age. Years ago, children whose IQ scores were over 130 were considered gifted (the range for average intelligence is 85 to 115); today, however, IQ is one factor among many that need to be evaluated before a child is identified as gifted. Often parents and teachers will be asked to write their impressions of a child, and these subjective measures are considered along with test data.

When giftedness is hard to diagnose

You might be surprised to learn that a child can be both gifted and learning disabled. In most cases, the disability is recognized while giftedness goes undetected. Giftedness in children from ethnic minorities and disadvantaged backgrounds, and in those for whom English is a second language, is often overlooked as well. If your child falls into any of these categories, it's best to find a psychologist who is sensitive to these issues. It is also important to ask your child's teacher to observe him and look for talents that conventional tests cannot detect.

To find other resources for parents of gifted children, visit NAGC's Web site.

After months in exile, due to a computer problem and time issues, i am now back.
I do apologize for my absence but I'm now back and ready to blog again.

The past few months, I've been trying to fix problems that I have (if you have read my other blogs), but results still are delayed. hmpf....

I do hope you'll read my blogs as I now continue what I have started months ago......


Thank you and Happy reading.