The Baby Ventures of Xing Mom

Many a toddler is known to shrink in fear at the sight of the haircutting scissors or shriek hysterically when held still for a snip. Parents who've faced down the problem share their best tips for cutting back on haircut trauma.

Ease the fear

"As a licensed hairstylist and mom of a 17-month-old, my advice is this: Don't call it a 'haircut'! Kids associate the word 'cut' with pain. Tell them they're getting a 'trim' instead." — Jen

"We used electric clippers for my daughter. It helped to have her favorite baby doll there, who has plastic hair, and to have them take turns. Seeing her baby doll's hair get 'cut' (we just put the clippers near her doll's head) helped her see there was nothing to be afraid of. Now she's almost 3 and tolerates haircuts just fine." — tla

"We play 'haircut' and use kitchen tongs instead of scissors. It gets our daughter used to hearing a noise and seeing something shiny bobbing around her head (we also drop shredded paper around her to imitate hair falling). Then when it's time for a real haircut while she sits on the kitchen floor it's not so traumatic. So far so good!" — Emma

"For my son's first few haircuts, we let him watch my husband get one first. I think seeing Daddy in the chair made him curious instead of scared. Then when it was his turn, I sat in the chair with my son on my lap. That seemed to work. He gets fidgety, but not upset." — kate

Go with the pros

"Ask around and see if there's a place in your area that caters specifically to kids. We have a place like that where we live — they have toys my son can play with while we're waiting to get his hair cut, a chair that's like a little car with a motor and horn, and DVD players at every station. My son gets so distracted by these things he hardly notices he's getting a haircut. He doesn't sit perfectly still, by any means, but it's nowhere near as horrible as it could be." — Leanne

"I take my 21-month-old to a children's salon. To keep him still and happy, I always take him right after a nap, when he's well-rested, and bring a sippy cup filled with formula. I ask the stylist to finish the haircut before the formula is gone. It works like a dream." — Louise

Get tricky

"My 19-month-old hates getting his hair cut, so I do it at home while he's sleeping. I do one side, then flip his head and do the other." — Anonymous

"My 18-month-old was a nightmare at the hairdresser's! He'd scream and run away and even swing at me and the stylist (luckily she was a friend). Finally, I asked our babysitter to take him. When she did, he was an angel! She's taken him back a few more times and now he gets excited when I tell him it's haircut day. He sits there the whole time, saying what a big boy he is, getting his hair cut and not crying!" — Anonymous

Sweeten the deal

"I found that Ring Pop lollipops work great! Your child won't choke since the candy is attached to the ring like a pacifier. My son is far too busy with his lollipop to notice what's being done to his hair. This is the only time we give him candy, so he loves getting his hair cut!" — Anonymous

"I've always cut my twins' hair myself. I usually try to put in a movie for them while I'm cutting, and tell them that if they do a good job sitting still they'll get a reward. I've found that stickers or a snack that they're only allowed to have on special occasions works very well." — twinniemom

Find a distraction

"My son was fine with his first two haircuts. I was very surprised when he freaked out the next time. We tried everything from having him watch my husband get a haircut to bribing him with bubbles and cookies. Nothing worked. Finally one day this summer I cut his hair while he was outside playing at the water table, which he loves. He was still a little annoyed, but it went much better. The lesson? Experiment. If your child is really into something (a certain toy, coloring, a video, a special food), try doing it then and see if it works." — Anonymous

"My friend who's a hairdresser gave me this tip that she uses with her own son: Give your child a haircut in the tub. It's easy to cut hair while it's wet, the hair falls into the water so it's easy to clean up, and your child is so distracted with playing that he doesn't even notice what you're doing. I tried it with my son and it's worked like a charm." — Betsie

Do it in waves

"I cut my son's hair in phases. First we fought the battle to get his bangs trimmed and called it a night. A few days later, while he was busy eating in his chair, I snuck up behind him and snipped off the sides. Later while he was distracted in the bath, I trimmed his curls in the back." — stinkdyr

Work it out with TLC

"My son, who's now 5, isn't easy to upset and normally takes things in stride, but he hated haircuts and I can see why: I'd told him over and over that scissors are dangerous and then I got out the scissors to cut his hair! It took patience and lots of reassurance to get him to see that haircuts aren't so bad. For a long time I had to cut his hair in stages to teach him how to cope. I think as parents we need to look at the world around us from our children's perspective and remember that they've only been here for a short time. There's so much for them to learn and it's easy to get overwhelmed." — Susan

Try tough love

"My son hates haircuts, too, but I just make him sit there until the job is done. He doesn't like it, but that's just too bad. He gets over it. And now he accepts haircuts because he knows they're going to happen regardless of his desires, and he's come to realize they're not so bad. I think sometimes we baby our kids too much and actually encourage tantrums in the way we respond to them." —Mike

Know when to get help

"If your child's reaction to haircuts seems over the top, consider the possibility that he has a problem processing sensory input. My 4-year-old screamed like a maniac during haircuts. Only after he was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction and treated with six months of occupational therapy did haircuts — and other things — become a little easier. Just a thought for when the typical techniques fail." — Kimmi