Many a toddler is known to shrink in fear at the sight of the haircutting scissors or shriek hysterically when held still for a snip. Parents who've faced down the problem share their best tips for cutting back on haircut trauma.

Ease the fear

"As a licensed hairstylist and mom of a 17-month-old, my advice is this: Don't call it a 'haircut'! Kids associate the word 'cut' with pain. Tell them they're getting a 'trim' instead." — Jen

"We used electric clippers for my daughter. It helped to have her favorite baby doll there, who has plastic hair, and to have them take turns. Seeing her baby doll's hair get 'cut' (we just put the clippers near her doll's head) helped her see there was nothing to be afraid of. Now she's almost 3 and tolerates haircuts just fine." — tla

"We play 'haircut' and use kitchen tongs instead of scissors. It gets our daughter used to hearing a noise and seeing something shiny bobbing around her head (we also drop shredded paper around her to imitate hair falling). Then when it's time for a real haircut while she sits on the kitchen floor it's not so traumatic. So far so good!" — Emma

"For my son's first few haircuts, we let him watch my husband get one first. I think seeing Daddy in the chair made him curious instead of scared. Then when it was his turn, I sat in the chair with my son on my lap. That seemed to work. He gets fidgety, but not upset." — kate

Go with the pros

"Ask around and see if there's a place in your area that caters specifically to kids. We have a place like that where we live — they have toys my son can play with while we're waiting to get his hair cut, a chair that's like a little car with a motor and horn, and DVD players at every station. My son gets so distracted by these things he hardly notices he's getting a haircut. He doesn't sit perfectly still, by any means, but it's nowhere near as horrible as it could be." — Leanne

"I take my 21-month-old to a children's salon. To keep him still and happy, I always take him right after a nap, when he's well-rested, and bring a sippy cup filled with formula. I ask the stylist to finish the haircut before the formula is gone. It works like a dream." — Louise

Get tricky

"My 19-month-old hates getting his hair cut, so I do it at home while he's sleeping. I do one side, then flip his head and do the other." — Anonymous

"My 18-month-old was a nightmare at the hairdresser's! He'd scream and run away and even swing at me and the stylist (luckily she was a friend). Finally, I asked our babysitter to take him. When she did, he was an angel! She's taken him back a few more times and now he gets excited when I tell him it's haircut day. He sits there the whole time, saying what a big boy he is, getting his hair cut and not crying!" — Anonymous

Sweeten the deal

"I found that Ring Pop lollipops work great! Your child won't choke since the candy is attached to the ring like a pacifier. My son is far too busy with his lollipop to notice what's being done to his hair. This is the only time we give him candy, so he loves getting his hair cut!" — Anonymous

"I've always cut my twins' hair myself. I usually try to put in a movie for them while I'm cutting, and tell them that if they do a good job sitting still they'll get a reward. I've found that stickers or a snack that they're only allowed to have on special occasions works very well." — twinniemom

Find a distraction

"My son was fine with his first two haircuts. I was very surprised when he freaked out the next time. We tried everything from having him watch my husband get a haircut to bribing him with bubbles and cookies. Nothing worked. Finally one day this summer I cut his hair while he was outside playing at the water table, which he loves. He was still a little annoyed, but it went much better. The lesson? Experiment. If your child is really into something (a certain toy, coloring, a video, a special food), try doing it then and see if it works." — Anonymous

"My friend who's a hairdresser gave me this tip that she uses with her own son: Give your child a haircut in the tub. It's easy to cut hair while it's wet, the hair falls into the water so it's easy to clean up, and your child is so distracted with playing that he doesn't even notice what you're doing. I tried it with my son and it's worked like a charm." — Betsie

Do it in waves

"I cut my son's hair in phases. First we fought the battle to get his bangs trimmed and called it a night. A few days later, while he was busy eating in his chair, I snuck up behind him and snipped off the sides. Later while he was distracted in the bath, I trimmed his curls in the back." — stinkdyr

Work it out with TLC

"My son, who's now 5, isn't easy to upset and normally takes things in stride, but he hated haircuts and I can see why: I'd told him over and over that scissors are dangerous and then I got out the scissors to cut his hair! It took patience and lots of reassurance to get him to see that haircuts aren't so bad. For a long time I had to cut his hair in stages to teach him how to cope. I think as parents we need to look at the world around us from our children's perspective and remember that they've only been here for a short time. There's so much for them to learn and it's easy to get overwhelmed." — Susan

Try tough love

"My son hates haircuts, too, but I just make him sit there until the job is done. He doesn't like it, but that's just too bad. He gets over it. And now he accepts haircuts because he knows they're going to happen regardless of his desires, and he's come to realize they're not so bad. I think sometimes we baby our kids too much and actually encourage tantrums in the way we respond to them." —Mike

Know when to get help

"If your child's reaction to haircuts seems over the top, consider the possibility that he has a problem processing sensory input. My 4-year-old screamed like a maniac during haircuts. Only after he was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction and treated with six months of occupational therapy did haircuts — and other things — become a little easier. Just a thought for when the typical techniques fail." — Kimmi

Here's the essential information every babysitter should have:

• Contact information for you and your partner — Home phone, work phone, and cell phone numbers (and pager number if you have one), as well as the number at the place you'll be (restaurant, friends' house, etc.). Tell your sitter not to open the door to anyone she's not expecting, and warn her if anyone will be stopping by or calling.

• Emergency contact information — This includes fire, police, doctor, and hospital numbers — for guidelines, see our helpful checklist. If your children have specific medical insurance numbers, provide those as well. It's also smart to designate one or two neighbors, friends, or relatives as local contacts. Leave their names, numbers, and addresses. That way your sitter has someone to turn to in case of miscellaneous mishaps, such as a pet that gets loose or a power outage. Also, leave clear written directions to your house so she can give them out to fire, police, or medical personnel in an emergency.

• A mapped escape route — In case of fire or some other crisis that requires hasty evacuation, your sitter should be aware of all the possible exits from your house. Also make sure she knows where to find the fire extinguisher, the first-aid kit, the circuit breaker, the water shutoff, and a flashlight.

• Medical information about your baby — If your child has any allergies or other medical conditions, or needs to take medication, tell your sitter about it in advance. Also inform her of any additional health problems — such as a bad case of diaper rash or a tendency to spit up food. Also, just in case you or your contact person can't be found in an emergency, leave a healthcare authorization form that allows your babysitter or childcare provider to get medical attention for your child.

• Food and drink list — Don't leave this to chance. Your sitter may not be aware of foods that pose choking hazards. Leave specific instructions outlining what your baby can and can't eat and drink. And if the sitter will be preparing formula or giving your baby expressed breast milk, make sure she knows how to do it.

• Activity schedule — Your baby will feel more comfortable sticking to his usual routine, so let your sitter know what time he eats his meals, what time he goes to bed, and how his bedtime routine works. (If you usually read to him from a particular book, for example, let her know that.) You may want to print out our daily baby activity sheet for your sitter to fill out -- that way you'll be able to see what and how much your baby ate while you were out, when he had a wet or dirty diaper, and so on. Finally, it's wise to let your sitter know about any special words for favorite toys or security objects.

How to tell if your preschooler is gifted

"Did you hear what he just said?" Many parents see every word their child utters or every squiggle he draws as evidence of his being gifted. Though most children aren't identified as gifted until they begin formal school, some show signs of being gifted at a very early age.

Gifted child Ben Hellerstein of Larchmont, N.Y., for instance, was actually reading nonfiction books and memorizing facts by the age of 4. His mother wishes she had realized that he was academically advanced at that time. "If I had," she says wistfully, "he could have gotten the help he needed in school earlier than he did, and his first year of school wouldn't have been so unhappy."

Signs of giftedness in a preschooler

Your 2- to 4-year-old may be gifted if he:

• Has a specific talent, such as artistic ability or an unusual facility for numbers. For example, children who draw unusually realistic pictures or who can manipulate numbers in their head may be gifted.

• Reaches developmental milestones well ahead of peers.

• Has advanced language development, such as an extensive vocabulary or the ability to speak in sentences much earlier than other children his age.

• Is relentlessly curious and never seems to stop asking questions.

• Is unusually active, though not hyperactive. While hyperactive children often have a short attention span, gifted children can concentrate on one task for long periods of time and are passionate about their interests.

• Has a vivid imagination. Gifted children often create a vast and intricate network of imaginary friends with whom they become very involved.

• Is able to memorize facts easily and can recall arcane information that he learns from television shows, movies, or books.

Other signs of giftedness may be a little harder to discern. By age 3 or 4, for example, some gifted children begin to realize that they are "different" from their peers. This can make them feel isolated and withdrawn; it may also make them likely targets for bullying.

They may begin to experience intense frustration because they can think more rapidly than they can express themselves, verbally or physically. If your child appears unusually angry or frustrated, you may want to consult a mental health professional.

Testing your preschooler for giftedness

Though you may want to know if your preschooler is gifted, most children don't need to be tested for giftedness before entering elementary school. However, consultations with a mental health professional may be appropriate if your preschooler appears to be unusually bored in school or shows any signs of emotional or social problems.

If your child is enrolled in preschool, speak to the teacher or school director to find out if the school is affiliated with any mental health professionals who specialize in working with gifted children. If your child is not in school or the school isn't being receptive to your concerns, ask your pediatrician to refer you to a child psychologist who conducts tests for giftedness. Keep in mind that that although private testing is often expensive (testing and follow-up consultation can run as high as $1,000), your insurance plan may cover the cost.

Children as young as 3 can be given IQ and ability tests, but experts believe that IQ test results obtained before the age of 5 are unstable — that is, if a child is retested, his scores can fluctuate significantly until this age. Years ago, children whose IQ scores were over 130 were considered gifted (the range for average intelligence is 85 to 115); today, however, IQ is one factor among many that need to be evaluated before a child is identified as gifted. Often parents and teachers will be asked to write their impressions of a child, and these subjective measures are considered along with test data.

When giftedness is hard to diagnose

You might be surprised to learn that a child can be both gifted and learning disabled. In most cases, the disability is recognized while giftedness goes undetected. Giftedness in children from ethnic minorities and disadvantaged backgrounds, and in those for whom English is a second language, is often overlooked as well. If your child falls into any of these categories, it's best to find a psychologist who is sensitive to these issues. It is also important to ask your child's teacher to observe him and look for talents that conventional tests cannot detect.

To find other resources for parents of gifted children, visit NAGC's Web site.

After months in exile, due to a computer problem and time issues, i am now back.
I do apologize for my absence but I'm now back and ready to blog again.

The past few months, I've been trying to fix problems that I have (if you have read my other blogs), but results still are delayed. hmpf....

I do hope you'll read my blogs as I now continue what I have started months ago......


Thank you and Happy reading.

When will my baby start getting teeth?

The vast majority of babies sprout their first teeth when they're between 4 and 7 months of age. An early developer may get his first white cap as early as 3 months, while a late bloomer may have to wait until he's a year old or more. (In rare cases, a baby's first tooth is already visible at birth.) Whenever the first tooth makes its appearance, celebrate the milestone by taking pictures and noting the date in your child's baby book.

Teeth actually start developing while your baby's in the womb, when tooth buds form in the gums. Teeth break through one at a time over a period of months, and often — but not always — in this order: First the bottom two middle teeth, then the top two middle ones, then the ones along the sides and back. They may not all come in straight, but don't worry — they usually straighten out over time.

The last teeth to appear (the second molars, found in the very back of the mouth on the top and bottom) have usually begun coming into place by your baby's second birthday. By age 3, your child should have a full set of 20 baby teeth, which shouldn't fall out until his permanent teeth are ready to start coming in, around age 6.

What teething symptoms will my baby experience?

Experts disagree about whether teething actually causes symptoms — like fussiness, diarrhea, and fever — or whether these common symptoms are not related to teething at all and just coincidentally appear at the same time as emerging teeth. Regardless, many parents maintain that their teething babies do experience discomfort (though some babies get through the process with no problems at all). The symptoms most likely to trouble a teether include:

• Drooling (which can lead to a facial rash)
• Gum swelling and sensitivity
• Irritability or fussiness
• Biting behavior
• Refusing food
• Sleep problems

Though many parents report that their babies have loose stools, runny noses, or a fever just before a new tooth arrives, most experts don't think teething is to blame for these symptoms. One who does is William Sears, pediatrician and author of The Baby Book. Sears believes that teething can cause diarrhea and a mild diaper rash because your baby's excessive saliva ends up in his gut and loosens his stools. Inflammation in the gums, he thinks, may cause a low fever (under 101 degrees Fahrenheit).

On the other hand, child development experts such as Penelope Leach assert that teething cannot cause fever, diarrhea, vomiting, or loss of appetite and that these are signs of illness that should be checked out. Noted pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton says such symptoms are probably due to an infection unrelated to teething, but that the stress associated with teething could make your child more vulnerable to infection right before a new tooth appears.

The one thing experts agree on is that you should call your child's doctor if your baby has symptoms that worry you or a rectal temperature of 101 degrees F or higher (100.4 degrees F or higher for babies younger than 3 months). The doctor can help determine whether your baby is showing signs of a problem that needs medical attention, like an ear infection. If your baby has loose stools — but not diarrhea — don't worry. The condition will clear up on its own.

What can I do to ease my baby's discomfort?

Give your child something to chew on, such as a firm rubber teething ring or a cold washcloth. If your baby is old enough to eat solids, he may also get some relief from cold foods such as applesauce or yogurt. Giving him a hard, unsweetened teething cracker such as zwieback to gnaw on is another time-honored trick. (Avoid carrots, as they can be a choking hazard.) Simply rubbing a clean finger gently but firmly over your baby's sore gums can ease the pain temporarily, too.

If these methods aren't working, some doctors recommend giving a teething baby a small dose of children's pain reliever such as infants' acetaminophen — but check with your doctor before giving your baby any medication. (Never give your baby aspirin or even rub it on his gums to ease the pain. The use of aspirin in children is associated with Reye's syndrome, a rare but potentially life-threatening condition.)

Rubbing the gums with topical pain relief gel is also an option, but you may want to ask your baby's doctor before trying it. If you use too much, it can numb the back of your baby's throat and weaken his gag reflex (which helps prevent him from choking on his saliva). The gels are generally safe to use, but in rare cases can cause an allergic reaction.

If drool causes a rash on your baby's face, wipe, but don't rub, the drool away with a soft cotton cloth. You can also smooth petroleum jelly on his chin before a nap or bedtime to protect the skin from further irritation.

Stupidity Again

Well, guess what, stupidity struck me again. I'm here again, in his place, of course with my baby. After everything that has happened, I found it in my heart to try to fix this one more time. But, as usual, I am disappointed. He's still the same old irresponsible guy. The reason, mainly, why I agreed to go here again is because of my baby. As I have said before, I didn't want my baby to grow up without a father. Though I'm trying to make my stay here more productive than before.


What's Next?

Now that I'm here, all I'm thinking about is, what's next? I have a lot of questions boggling in my mind. Do we stay together? Do we just have to do this occasionally for our daughter? Do I make him give child support? Do I accept him again and believe in him again? I honestly don't know what to do and what to think right now. He has lots of plans, even included me in them. But planning and actually DOING it is different. Should I just take his word? Like before........that I'm not so sure of. I might get heartbroken again. Not that there's a whole heart to break. 'Coz I honestly think there's none left since I give him all of it the first time.


Do You Still Believe in Love?

Sometimes I ask myself, would you still believe in love? Since I have been heartbroken one too many times, I should have learned a thing or two about it. But the heard headed girl that I am, adventurous and stupid. I admit, I learned nothing in protecting myself from heartbreaks or from him. I think it will take a long while before I could give my heart again to someone and love again unconditionally. I just hope it's not too late. I have suffered a lot already and no one seems to understand what I am going through.


to be continued.....

There comes a time in a person's life that we do 'stupid' things but it didn't seem stupid at that time. We then regret it afterwards. Let me share with you a few of mine.


The Start of it All


I was young, 23, when I got pregnant with my boyfriend. Before I got pregnant, he was this "Lancelot" type of guy. Always there to save me, always there to support me, and so I thought. When I got pregnant, his first reaction was to get rid of the baby. Not the type of reaction I expected of him. We live far from each other, so when we wanted to be together, we had to take a plane ride to go to each others place. After days of trying to talk to him on the phone about keeping the baby, I decided to go to him to have a decent talk since I'm not getting "through him" when we talk over the phone. After a 4 days of being with him, trying to convince him, he finally agreed on one condition, THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE MONEY AND THAT I SHOULDN'T FORCE HIM TO GIVE. Now, I don;t know why, but I agreed. maybe just for the sake that he'd let me keep the baby. Now, looking back, it was so stupid of me to even ask for his permission. I mean, that's my baby, that's my body, I should be the most important person to decide about it, right? But anyway, as I've said, we sometimes do stupid things.

I continued the pregnancy even if for all those months after, we didn't see each other, but we sometimes talk on the phone. When I gave birth, he didn't even offer to give me any financial assistance. A month after I gave birth, I discovered something shocking, HE'S MARRIED!!! I felt like my world collapsed. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell my parents about it, 'coz they would just make sure that he would never get to see the baby, and I didn't want that. I wanted my baby to grow in a complete family, with a father. I confronted him, he said, he's doing things already and that 'the end justifies the means'. He explained to me that it was a fake marriage to help out his girlfriend get a visa from somewhere afterwhich the girl applied them both in an immigration service using it. I honestly did not know what to believe.

After a few months, the girl found out about our baby and confronted my boyfriend about it. Of course, for immigration sake ('coz my boyfriend needs it as he already spent a lot on it), he denied everything. The girl now is asking for divorce and the cost of it. Good for me? I honestly don't know...

When his immigration was a bit problematic, he decided to tell his family about me and the baby. Yes, they didn't know! My baby was already 3 months when they knew about her. And of course, his mom was shocked. They came here, saw the baby. Well, if you ask me, his mom just came here to make sure that the baby really is His. And how could he deny it, the baby looks just like him! I could also feel that his mom doesn't like me. Telling me that all the while, she thought her son was sterile. Ya right! Does this mean she still has doubts if it's His or not?

December came, she sent us a ticket to visit them. And so we did! She became more and more close to me, talking to me more than before. But anyway, this is about her son, not her. My boyfriend, after all those months, still isn't responsible. He would have money, but would not spend it on our daughter and the bad part about it, he would lie to me and tell me he doesn't have any money at all.

Until now, I am still waiting in vain on what he plans to do with us. He says he wants us to live together with the baby, give the baby a family she deserves. But until now, it is still a plan, no results yet.

It's very hard raising a child on your own and at the same time 'waiting' for the father to grow up. There are times that I would just decrease the ratio of her milk to water just so my baby's milk formula would last longer. Most of the time, I am literally begging my parents for money to buy diapers and milk. Hey, honestly, I have not bought myself panties since I gave birth. Damn! That's how hard being a single parents is ------ for me. There are nights that I would just cry and cry 'coz I can't have my baby immunized/vaccinated 'coz I didn't have the money.


Sickness

My Baby got sick and so I brought her to the doctor, one thing that I'm trying to avoid. When the doctor gave me the prescription, I felt like crying, but I stopped myself and cried the moment I arrived home. It's so hard when you don't have money.

We went to their place again, and the funny thing is, his mom would spend on the baby ONLY IF the baby is there at their place. One time, his mom talked to me, telling me that "It's my fault, I sort of pampered him and spoiled him, all because I pitied him for having no job and I didn't want him to suffer, that's why I gave him a credit card". Yah right! If only I had the courage to talk to her. Then I replied, "What is he spending on using the card when he doesn't go anywhere but to see the sunsets". Then I heard the most shocking answer from her "Well, he said he sends the money to you for the baby's needs"....In my head I was shouting. Telling myself "What money? Where? why have I not received it?". Then I realized, he really is irresponsible and selfish and he will never change. Not for me, not for his daughter and not for himself.



*** to be continued......